"On The Days I Am Not My Father" - A Poem

I don't yell. I don't hold inside
the day's supply of frustrations.
My hands stay open all day.
I don't wake tired and sore,dazed from senseless, panicking
dreams. On the days I am notmy father I hold my son
when he cries, let him touch my face without flinching, lie down with him
until he falls asleep, realize that just because he has a sharp tongue,
just because he's sometimes mean,
just because he's smarter than me
doesn't mean he'll become my father.
On the days I am not my father
holding you is enough until
holding you is no longer enough
for either of us. I listen well.
I let things go unfinished,
in an order I didn't plan.
My mouth is relaxed. My teethdon't hurt. My face stays a healthy shade of pink all day.
On the days I am not my father
I don't fill the silence with my own
irrational rants. I don't resent the voices of others. I don't make fun
of you to make myself feel better.
On the days I am not my father
I don't care who winsor loses. The news can't ruinmy day. I water plants.
I cook. I laugh at myself.I can imagine living without my beard, with my hair cut,
without the fear of looking too much like my father. On the days
I am not my father I rompand play, I don't compare myself
with everyone else, the night
is always long enough, I like
how much I am like my father.

"On The Days I Am Not My Father" by Scott Owens from The Fractured World. © Main Street Rag Publishing Company. Reprinted without permission of any kind.